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All posts for the month October, 2006

Serious Relationship Stuff

Every now and then I ask Stephanie “So, how are you feeling about things in our relationship?” This usually spawns a conversation about relationship stuff and how things are going. I asked this question about a week ago. Initially, everything seemed good and then Stephanie said something was on her mind and that she was interested in progressing the relationship forward… toward marriage even.

However, she said she wasn’t ready for this stuff because there were important issues we had to discuss like: money, housing, ex ex. She had a book called “The Hard Questions” that contained 100 questions relating to relationships and if a couple is compatible. It covered nine items including: Home, Money, Work, Sex, Health & Food, Family, Children, Community & Friends, and Spirituality.

Some sample questions look like:

What does our home look, physically? Outside? Inside? Any particular style? (modern, traditional, etc.)

What are our categories of expense (rent, clothing, insurance, travel)? How much do we spend monthly, annually, in each category? How much do we want to be able to spend? Now? In one year? Five years? Ten years?

I decided that I would type the questions and email them to Stephanie. We would then have a week to answer that category and we would then discuss our answers.

Last night we did Home and we seemed compatible and determined that we both don’t want a yard but would like an extra bedroom. We both prefer a townhouse and like to live in urban places. It was a positive experience over all and I’m glad we are doing this.

Next is money which is a big one.